Kirkis (kirkis) wrote,

merry christmas

But it feels like late Wednesday night
early thursday morning
The older I get, the less magic there is in the holidays. And I guess thats why everyone tries so hard to stay young. When you are young, you have a first christmas, a second christmas, a third.... you have a number on which christmas this is. Then it just becomes another visit to grandmas house. Heres what i'm trying to say, when it is your third christmas, you only have two others to compare it to. So its a 50/50 if its going to be better or worst then those other times. When its the 21st christmas, the chances of it being average is almost a certainty.
It all comes down to how I feel, and I feel numb. I haven't felt anything in awhile. I don't care. Nothing matters.
this is not a good thing
I vow next year to do something everyday that will make me feel something.
stop pretending
I am not who I want to be, I have become what is easiest.
i am lazy
Merry Christmas
i mean that
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